Step 1 : Advocates who are in bed with Sangh Parivar, file a petition to lift the restriction of temple entry to women in Sabarimala. The Central government influences their court stooge of a Chief Justice (& Co) to give a positive verdict. The ban is struck down (which also aligns with the fundamental rights of a citizen, and hence doesn’t raise any eyebrows constitutionally as well). Supreme Court Chief Justice retires immediately after.
Step 2 : BJP makes Trupti Desai & Co declare their imminent arrival to Sabarimala.
Step 3: Believers across the state tremble in fear for the bachelorhood of Lord Ayyappa. #Readytowait floods the social media. ‘Save Sabarimala’ banners decorate FB profile pictures.
Step 4 : Rahul Easwar & Co starts their TV battle to “save Ayyappa” from the untouchables – ‘menstruating women’.
Step 5 : BJP starts protesting on the streets against the verdict, “to save their god” (as absurdly funny as it sounds!).
Step 6 : The large Hindu population in Kerala look up to BJP as their saviour, who “stood up for their god”. (Oh the irony!)
Step 7 : Neutral votes, some Hindu Congress votes and majority of Hindu Communist votes start getting magically converted to BJP votes.
Step 8 : Thanks to the palaces and kings who still have a say in the sociocultural matters of 21st century, a petition is filed for a review of the Court verdict.
Step 9 : Post some dramatic scenes the new Chief Justice & Co overturns the verdict [under the influence of central government (?)].
Step 10 : More neutral and Hindu votes turn into BJP votes, BJP being their “god’s” only saviours, their knight in saffron shining armour.
Religious polarisation of a perfectly secular state, complete. Thanks to gods that need human saviours!